Inescapable
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: The end of their story is well known, but what happened before their deaths? A series of unrelated WolfStar drabbles/oneshots :: Latest - highschool!AU
1. Inescapable

They've been best friends for so long.

It's been six years of pranks, full moons, animagi and _**arguments**_. Five years since Remus' secret came to light. Four, since they started making the map. Three, since Sirius started chasing everything in a skirt. Two, since Remus became prefect. And it's been a year since Peter realized the existence of something before his friends.

When Remus and Sirius _scremscreamscream_ at each other – no one is surprised. But when they tumble into bed – Peter smiles.

Maybe it's unlikely.

But they've always been close, always been in an unknown love.

It's always been inescapable.

* * *

_Written for:_

_Vivid Characters/Scenes in 100 words or less, Prompt Inescapable_

_The Party Challenge, category Truth [option 2]_

_The If you dare challenge, prompt 114. My, Oh My_


	2. Irreplaceable

'I'm in love with you, Moony.'

Remus stared at the boy in front of him in shock. 'You can't,' he whispered. 'There's no way _you_ could love _me_.'

'But I do!' Sirius argued back. 'I've been in love with you since second year! Since we found out!'

Remus shook his head in horror, and, once Sirius uttered the last word, turned and fled into the dormitory.

Sirius quickly followed him, alarmed at Remus' reaction. But by the time he reached their dorm, Remus had charmed the door shut.

He knocked on it violently. 'Moony! Open up!'

'GO AWAY!' Remus screamed. His voice was hoarse, as though he was crying.

'Moony, open up or I'm going to do something drastic!'

'NO!' Remus' voice was cracking now. The sound of something hitting the wall, shattering on impact reached Sirius' ears. '_Bombarda!_' he whispered, jumping out of the radius of the oncoming blast.

The door exploded the second the spell made contact with it, and Sirius rushed in before Remus could find another way to ward the door against him. As he entered the dorm, he hastily erected Notice-Me-Not and Silencing charms on the now exposed doorway. There was no way he was going to share this conversations with curious eavesdroppers.

He entered the room to find Remus curled in his bed, sobbing violently, looking utterly exhausted.

'Moony?' he said, approaching him hesitantly. 'Are you okay?'

'No,' came the broken reply. 'I'm not okay. You need to stop mocking me, Siri. Stop saying you love me when there's no way you do.'

'But I do love you, Remus,' Sirius said, utterly perplexed now. 'Why wouldn't I?'

'Look at me!' Remus screamed, finding a hidden hole of energy somewhere within him. 'I'm a bloody werewolf!' he continued, lowering his volume. 'And you – you're a privileged pureblood. There's no way I'm good enough for you.'

Sirius looked at him, astonished. This had never crossed his mind as a resaon for his Moony's worry. He crawled into bed with the other boy, wrapping him in his arms and resting his head on Sirius' chest. 'I love you _because_ of that, idiot,' he whispered lovingly. 'I love you because you're everything I was never given the chance to be. You're a mass of contradictions – gentle, but capable of extreme violence; frighteningly smart, but just as stupid sometimes. You're extremely strong for going through what you have. And it doesn't hurt that you're drop dead gorgeous.'

'I'm no –'

'Shush. Hear me out now. Yes, you're a werewolf, but that's made you the person you are. You're bloody perfect, and I wouldn't change you for anything. You're different – different from all the sheep that make up this world. And that's what makes you irreplaceable to me.'

* * *

_For:_

_The If you dare challenge, Prompt 110. There is no need to shout_

_Musical Terms Challenge, Affrettando_


	3. Waking Up In The Forbidden Forest

The first thing Remus registered when he opens his eyes was that he was not in the Shrieking Shack.

No, if the trees were any indication, he has left the Shack behind a long time ago.

Somehow, someway, he had made it into the Forbidden Forest.

That was when the panic set in.

Because if he had left the Shack, that meant Moony had been on the loose last night, and – _Oh Merlin, what if he had bitten someone_? The penalty for infecting someone with lycanthropy was death, and –

"Well that was fun, wasn't it?"

At the sound of Sirius' voice, and the feel of arms around him, Remus let out a rather unmanly shriek before turning on the other boy.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing here?" he whispered urgently. "Please don't tell me you were here last night! Don't you realise what happened Sirius? Moony –"

"Remus –"

"- was on the lose last night. What if you'd –"

"Remus –"

"- gotten bitten? I would never –"

"Rem –"

"- have been able to live –"

"Remus, would you just shut up and listen?"

At the uncharacteristic explosion from Sirius, Remus quickly closed his mouth.

"Thank you," Sirius said, taking a breath of relief. "Now, do you remember _anything_ about last night?"

Remus shook his head. "No. Should I?" he asked, bewildered at the strange question.

"Not the point. Apart from the fact that you're in the Forest, do you feel any different today as compared with your other transformations?"

Remus sighed. It was obvious Sirius wasn't going to let this go without getting answers, and he definitely wasn't going to explain _why_ he wanted those answers. The easiest way for him to return to figuring out what happened last night was to give Sirius what he wanted.

"Well…now that you mention it, I don't feel as tired as I normally do. But I'd guess that has something to do with the fact that Moony had space to run last night, instead of being trapped in the Shack like he normally is."

At that, Sirius started grinning like a lunatic, something that was always cause for concern.

"Sirius?" Remus asked suspiciously, "what exactly did you do?"

"You have to see it to get the whole experience."

"See wha –" Remus stopped mid-sentence, gasping at the big black dog that stood exactly where Sirius had been a moment ago.

"Sirius. What. Did. You. DO?" he asked, barely controlling his temper. "Do you know how dangerous that was? You could have been trapped between forms forever! What if it had gone wrong? Do you –"

Remus was so occupied in his rant that he didn't notice his best friend transform back into a human until he wrapped Remus in hug.

"Sirius, stop it," Remus said, struggling to break free from his grip. "I'm serious! That was extremely stupid, even for you!"

"Don't worry, Moon," Sirius said affectionately. "James was right there to make sure I didn't screw anything up. And we helped Peter only after we'd both managed to transform, and –"

"Wait. All _three_ of you are Animagi?" Remus argued, torn between worry for his friends and happiness that they had done something so huge for him. "Do you know how much trouble you could get int –"

Sirius' mouth on his quickly shut Remus up, and he slowly stopped struggling, his brain going blank to everything except the feel of his friend's lips, and the slide of his tongue, and the –

"Good," Sirius said, pulling back from Remus.

Remus groaned in protest at the loss, completely forgetting why he had been so angry moments ago.

"We'll get back to that in a minute, don't worry," Sirius smirked, "but for right now, you need to listen to me."

Remus nodded mutely, his mind only hearing that "we'll get back to that" part of Sirius words.

"Yes, we learned the Animagus transformation. Yes, it was extremely dangerous. Yes, we know we can get into trouble. And _no_, we do not care. We did it for you. So suck it up and let yourself be happy like I know you want to. Okay?"

"Uh-huh," Remus murmured, eyes transfixed on Sirius' lips.

"Good. Now – where were we exactly?"

* * *

_For:_

_The Amazing Writer Competition: Pairing: WolfStar, Dialogue: Just shut up and listen, Place: Forbidden Forest_

_The If You Dare Challenge, Prompt 241. Great Scott..._

_Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp, Prompt 12. Interrupt_

_HP Potions Competition, Wolfsbane_

_Weasley-Potter-Prewitt Challenge, Bill Weasley_

_Philosopher's Stone Competition, Nicholas Flamel_

_Professor Trelawney's Divination Competition, Tea Leaves_

_Colours Competition, Silver (positive)_

_Greenhouses Competition, Knotgrass_

_Hogwarts Classes Competition, Care of Magical Creatures_

_Magical Creatures Challenge, Werewolf_


	4. Tattoos

**For WitAngerAndBravery, who gave me the headcanon I used to write this fic.**

* * *

"This is all your fault?"

"How am I at fault here? I've got one of these…_things_ too!"

"Your friend's birthday party, your mistake."

"Lily, I'd like to remind you that the friend in question is _your boyfriend_. If anything, we should be blaming him and Sirius for this! We wouldn't be in this mess if they hadn't spiked the drinks!"

"Honestly, who goes and spikes _alcohol_? It was already bloody strong Firewhiskey to being with!"

"That's Sirius and James for you."

"Yeah well, that's not the point. The point is, what in Merlin's name are we going to do with these?"

"Is there any way to get them off? Even a Muggle one?"

"Nope. And I don't fancy showing it to James. He's already got too large of an ego to begin with, who knows what this would do to it."

"Bloody hell, Sirius will be worse! You know _exactly_ how possessive he is, can you imagine his reaction to seeing this?"

"Yeah, well, James isn't any better when it comes to being a possessive bastard. Don't you remember what he did to that Ravenclaw who simply _debated_ about asking me to Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah…we don't talk about that incident. Or think about it. It was a bit scarring."

"Exactly! Can't you just _see_ how gleeful he's going to be about this?"

"I still say I've got it worse than you do."

"How in – how can you even _think_ you've got it worse?"

"Well, there's absolutely no chance James is going to go about telling everyone he meets what you did. Sirius _definitely_ will. Besides, it's much more embarrassing for a guy to be caught having one of…_these_."

"More – how can it be _more_ embarrassing for you? It's not I don't think it's ridiculous!"

"Well it's not exactly extremely manly, is it? In fact, it's the exact opposite – it's emasculating! Sure, Sirius will be thrilled – after he finishes laughing his ass off, that is. There's no chance that laughter is going to be the first thing you're confronted with when James sees yours."

"Remus, I went and got a _tramp stamp_ last night, and it looks like something a love-struck teenage girl would have doodled on the margins of her parchment. How exactly is that not embarrassing?"

"It's a tramp stamp. Again, not exactly the manliest place to have a tattoo. Besides, like you said, it looks like something a teenage girl would have doodled, and, just in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly a teenage girl."

"Nor am I!"

"But you are female! I'm sure you did something like that for whoever you had a crush on back at Hogwarts! I've never even doodled something like this in my life!"

"No. You're telling me you never wrote RL loves SB in a heart? Really?"

"That was uncalled for! And can you tell me you _really_ didn't do something like this at Hogwarts?"

"Of course I did! That doesn't mean I want a bloody tattoo that reads LE loves JP in a heart on my body!"

* * *

_For:_

_The If You Dare Challenge, Prompt 108. Symbolized_

_House Points competition, Character - Lily Evans/Potter_

_50 Different Friendships Challenge, Prompt 24. Night_

_HP Potions Competition, Laugh-Inducing Potion_

_Fantastic Creatures Competition, Griffins_


	5. You Don't Always Need To Be Hypnotised

**For my lovely wife Teddy, because she loves WolfStar. Here's a slightly serious hilarious SiriusRemus for you love :)**

* * *

"Are you _sure_ you're okay with this?" Sirius asked, looking down at the boy under him doubtfully.

"_Yes_, Sirius," Remus replied impatiently. "It was my idea in the first place, remember?"

"But–"

"Sirius, as much as I would like to tell the entire world about us, the entire world would include James and Peter. And the first few weeks of our relationship should really not consist mainly of listening to out best friends tease us and stop us from being alone."

"Well, if you're sure…"

"Sirius, your face is close enough to fine that you count my non-existent freckles rather easily. Are we _really_ going to have this conversation here?"

"…Good point."

Sirius finally closed the miniscule space between the two boys as his lips captured Remus'.

Within a few moments, the sixth year Gryffindor boys' dormitory was uncharacteristically quiet and nothing but the passion-filled moans of the two boys was heard.

Sirius' fingers stealthily crept under Remus' shirt; greedily exploring the wide expanse of bare skin he now had free access too. In response, Remus tightened his grip on Sirius' hair, pulling the other boy even closed to him.

Just as Sirius had started to tug at Remus' shirt, a loud noise from the door to the dormitory interrupted them.

The two of them quickly sprang apart, turning to face whoever it was who had caught them.

Seeing the shell-shocked boy in front of him, Remus groaned. Of _course_ keeping to the plan was going to be impossible now. He had always known that Fate hated him.

Because standing right there, looking like Lily had slapped him in the face – _again_ – was James bloody Potter.

"Wh – Wh – Wh – I'm confused," James whimpered pitifully, so utterly blown away that he was unable to properly shout out his surprise.

"Hello Prongs," Remus said sheepishly, scratching his neck in consternation at being caught. Sirius, the moron, was looking as though nothing was wrong, and that he _hadn't_ just been caught snogging the boy who was supposed to be nothing more than his best mate by his other best mate just a few minutes after he had discussed not letting anyone know that he dating the already mentioned first best-mate slash snogging partner.

"I don't suppose I can convince you that you're dreaming, can I?" Remus continued, not sounding very hopeful at all.

"But – But – But you – and him – and the two of you – and I – I just – WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?" James exclaimed, finally regaining his wits and voicing his shock.

"Well, you Prongs, Moony and I have been –" Sirius started, sounding all too eager to let James know everything.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed, "Do you even _remember_ our plan?"

"Well, it's obviously ruined now, isn't it?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you have to sound so eager to let him know! If we're lucky, he'll just think he's hallucinating and go away!"

That made Sirius pause for a moment. "Huh. You're right."

"I'm _always_ right, Sirius, there's no need to sound so surprised. Now, what exactly are we going to tell him?"

Sirius smiled mischievously, a smile that didn't bode well for James. "Let me handle this one, Rem."

He walked up to James and hit him lightly on the head three times. "Prongs," he began, sounding uncharacteristically serious, "This is a dream. In the real world, Moon and I are not snogging, and you are not going out with Lily. Any and all blame for this dream can be placed at the feel of the latest Stunner shot at you by that fiery red-head you're in love with. When I hit you over the head again, you will wake up from your dream with absolutely no memory of it."

Remus looked at his boyfriend incredulously. "Really Sirius? James isn't hypnotized, there's no way that's going to work!"

"Just watch the master at work Rem. It's something I discovered over the summer at James'. He's particularly susceptible to believing anything anyone tells him when he's in a state of extreme shock. Don't worry, we'll finish our _activities_ later." Throwing a leering smile at Remus, Sirius tapped James over the head one last time.

Right in front of Remus' disbelieving eyes, James' shell-shocked expression cleared up. In a few seconds, he looked as though he hadn't witnessed anything shocking at all.

"Guys!" he exclaimed, sounding like his normal, if slightly insane, cheery self. "Good, you're here. Now you two can help me look for my Charms text!"

"Excuse me?" Sirius cried, sounding affronted. "Why would we do that?"

"Because you'll are my best friends, of course, Anyways…"

Remus looked at his boyfriend and best friend blankly. The happenings of the last ten minutes or so shouldn't really have surprised him, considering he's known the two of them and their particular brand of crazy for nearly six years now, but it was still a bit astounding, what they came up with.

And that was without mentioning how put off he was over the fact that he hadn't been able to complete snog session with Sirius.

He really must have had a temporary lapse of sanity when he decided to befriend them back in first year.

* * *

_For:_

_The Fanfiction Wizard Tournament_

_The If You Dare Challenge, Prompt 96. What Do You Mean?_

_Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp, Prompt 29. Whisper_

_HP Potions Competition, Dogbane Potion_


	6. Walking In

**For the Hunger Games Challenge, using the prompts word: peace, character: Aberforth Dumbledore, class: Astronomy, pairing: Remus/Sirius and emotion: bemusement.**

**Also for the If You Dare Challenge (745. Hysteria); the Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp (33. Evening) and the Legendary Creatures Competition (Kobalos)**

* * *

To be fair, Remus and Sirius had tried their best to make sure that this situation never needed to arise.

They'd had every intention of telling James and Peter about their relationship, really, they had. But the lure of a forbidden, secret romance was a bit too much, so they kept putting it off.

Which, of course, was what resulted in the situation they were facing.

* * *

As soon as Astronomy had gotten over, the two of them had rushed to their dorm room. James spent a good part of his Thursday nights stalking Evans on her patrol, and Peter was currently in the Hospital Wing over a Potions mishap, so they had thought they would be able to steal some alone time together.

Once inside the dorm, the two of them immediately wrapped around each other, lips meeting in a passionate kiss. They knew that they didn't have much time before James returned, and they wanted to make the best use of their time.

"We should lock the door," Remus murmured between kisses.

"Leave it," Sirius replied, unwilling to let his lover go. "James isn't going to be back from stalking Evans for at least another hour."

Remus started to protest once more, but the feel of Sirius' lips on his and his hands wrapped in his hair made his mind go completely blank to the thought of anything but the present moment and the man in his arms.

Just as Remus' fingers had finished unbuttoning Sirius' shirt, the relative peace of the dormitory was broken by the sound of a strangled sound of disbelief from the doorway.

At the noise, the two boys sprang apart as though they had been burned.

James Potter stared at the scene in front of him in complete bemusement. There was no way he had just seen what he had thought he had seen…right?

"Ummm…hi James," Sirius said nervously, running his hand through his hair as he subtly tried to look for his missing shirt.

"Wh-What-I don't understand," James whimpered pathetically, his mind unable to comprehend what had just happened.

"Uh…yeah, we meant to tell you," Remus said, laughing uneasily. "I guess we forgot."

"But-But-why were you two _snogging_?"

"See, now I'm certain Mrs P dropped you on your head as a child, Jamesie," Sirius said, supremely confidant now that he was fully clothed again. "Why do you think we were snogging?"

"How long?" James asked, sounding defeated now that he was sure that he hadn't dreamt the scene up.

"About a month," Remus said, still nervous about the entire incident.

"Okay. Okay," James nodded as he walked to his bedside drawer, rummaging for something in it.

"James, are you okay with-" Remus started to ask. Sirius was simply standing to the side, smirking, knowing full well what his best friend was doing.

"'Course I am! Just – don't do that in front of me again, yeah?" James said as he pulled out his cloak and the Marauders' Map from the drawer.

"Of course," Remus said. "But what are you-"

"As much as all three of us would have rather I didn't walk in on you two, I did. And now I can't get that image out of my head. So I'm going to the Hog's Head to see if Aberforth is willing to serve me some Firewhiskey to aid in the loss of my memory," James replied, sounding extremely calm. _Too_ calm, in fact, which made Remus even more nervous.

But before he could voice his concern, Sirius was by his side, pulling him into his arms. In the moment that he turned his attention away from James, the other boy slipped out.

"Sirius, I'm really worried about Ja-" he tried to say.

Sirius broke him off with a kiss. "You can worry about him tomorrow," he said with a leering grin. "We've got the room to ourselves for tonight, Moony, and I'd rather not talk about Prongs."

As Sirius' lips met his once again, Remus conceded that Sirius might have had a point.


	7. Sense and Spinning Bottles

**This piece has been inspired by the song Easily Bruised by Matthew Barber, specifically the line _"Now everything makes sense at the moment"_**

**I hope you guy like it! Please don't forget to review!**

* * *

"I would be _honoured_ to go to Hogsmeade with you, my lady," Sirius says, bestowing his most charming smile on the girl in front of him.

Remus watches his best friend flirt with everything that is female and moves on two legs. He watches him get his way with everything that is female and moves on two legs.

He knows he should be happy for Sirius – after all, Sirius is living every teenage boy's dream, isn't he? He has a constant supply of adoring girls flocking all around him, each one of them willing to do anything he wants them to as long he gives them a bit of his attention.

And yet, every time Sirius scores yet another date, all he feels is a darky terrifying emotion rising up in him. He has to physically hold himself back from tearing the smile off of the _stupid_ girl's face, from destroying her with every cruel word he can think of.

It frightens him, the depth of the hatred he feels for each and every one of Sirius' little floozies. And the worst part of it all is that he _just doesn't understand_ why he feels this way. Sirius is his best friends. He should be _happy_ for him, not want to sabotage each and every one of his dates.

He might have been able to pretend that it was simply fear that he would lose one of the best friends he will ever have. And yet, he never feels the same way towards Lily Evans, and James spends more time chasing her than Sirius spends of all his girlfriends combined.

"Moony, stop looking so glum and get your arse over here!" James' voice breaks through his thoughts.

"I don't know how you even got me to agree to this," he informs James, walking towards the circle.

For some reason, James and Sirius had decided that the best way to celebrate the start of fifth year was to throw a Gryffindor party, complete with illegal alcohol and daft drinking games. For some even more obscure reason, Remus had promised the two of them that he would play a least a few of the games.

Which, of course, they took to mean all of them.

"So, what exactly are we playing?" Remus asks as he sat down next to Sirius.

"Spin the bottle," Sirius says, grinning cheekily. "Jamesie's trying every way he can think of to snog Evans this year."

Remus simply shakes his head at James' thoughts. He has long since given up on trying to convince him that stalking her is not the best way to win Lily's heart, and now he just watches the catastrophes that James' plans are with amusement and a hint of superiority.

"Shut up, everyone!" Mary McDonald's voice rises above the chatter of the Common Room. "It's time to start!"

Sirius grabs a hold of the Firewhiskey bottle they're using and spins it around. It's typically Sirius, Remus thinks, to be the first one to try something that will get him laid.

Everyone watches the bottle with baited breath, more than one girl praying that it will land on them. But it continues spinning, bypassing everyone in the circle, until it – stops.

"Oh," Remus says, looking at the bottle pointing at him.

And then Sirius was pressing his soft, slightly chapped lips to Remus', and his hands were clutching Remus' hair.

And he was cupping Remus' face, nibbling gently at his lips, prodding him to open his mouth.

As he opened his mouth, and Sirius' tongue slipped in, Remus let out a soft sigh of realisation. Suddenly, _everything_ made sense.

* * *

_For:_

_The If You Dare Challenge, Prompt 388. The Truth Never Lies_

_The Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp, Prompt 5. Curse_

_The Legendary Gods and Goddesses Competition, Dionysus_


	8. Crayon Drawings

**For the Ultimate Pairing Drabble Competition (prompt: crayon; word count: 550); the Globetrotter Drabble Competition (Berlin, Germany); the Apprentice Competition (word: immortal; dialogue: "If I had the chance..."; song: _'People Like Us'_ by Kelly Clarkson; pairing: remussirius and genre: drama); the If You Dare Challenge (448. Betrayal); the Song Fic Bootcamp (song: _'People Like Us'_ by Kelly Clarkson; 21. Dorm); the Pairing Set Bootcamp (26. siriusremus) and the Greenhouses Competition (Lavender) **

**Parts of this fic have been inspired by the song _'People Like Us'_ by Kelly Clarkson, specifically the lines _"Hey… everybody loses it, / Everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes"_**

* * *

They were like a child's drawing done in crayon, nothing resembling neat and everything resembling a mess.

The thing about the two of them is that they constantly clash. They're like fire and ice – complete opposites, yet necessary for each other's survival.

They have the capability to bleed each other dry, but they also need each other to survive. So no matter what happens, they'll always find their way back to each other.

* * *

Sirius stared at Remus hungrily. It was his own fault that the werewolf wasn't with him, lying in his arms in his bed, he knew that.

After all, he was the idiot who had thought that giving Snivilleus everything he needed to figure out Remus' secret was a good idea. He was the one who had nearly caused Remus to either be arrested by the Ministry for murder and executed or thrown out of Hogwarts. But knowing all that didn't stop him from missing Remus, from wishing he still had him.

* * *

Remus sighed.

"Is he bothering you?" James asked him, sounding unusually aggressive considering he was talking about his best friend. But then, he'd been excessively protective ever since the in the Shack.

"No," Remus murmured. "It's nothing."

"If I had the chance, I'd…" James let his statement linger, the threat in it obvious.

"James, leave it," Remus said.

"Remus, he-"

"I know," Remus said, cutting James off, "But…well, it's obvious that he feels guilty about it. How long are we going to let him suffer?"

James looked outraged. "Moony, you can't seriously be thinking of…" In the middle of James' statement, Remus got up and started to move towards Sirius' bed. "Moony!"

* * *

Sirius looked at Remus hopefully. He was ignoring James' indignant cries to walk towards Sirius, which had to mean something.

"Hello, Siri," Remus whispered softly as he took a seat next to the lying down Sirius.

"Hey Rem," Sirius whispered back, aching to reach out and cup his face, perhaps pull him in for kiss, but knowing all the while that he had forfeited that right with his act of idiocy.

And then Remus did something that was so much more than he had ever hoped for – he laid down next to Sirius, reached out, and pulled him into the warm embrace of his arms.

It was all Sirius could do not to break down crying.

"I'm still mad at you, you know," Remus murmured, "But the two of us? We can't give each other up. We can't let the world win. So no matter what you do, I promise I'll never give up on you."

Sirius was never usually one to believe promises. He had seen enough of them broken at home that he knew better. But the way Remus promised him, like it was a fact that couldn't be questioned – well, despite everything he had seen, Sirius knew that he was telling the truth.

* * *

They're messed up, like a child's drawing done in crayon, but they're also perfect, like a work of art painted by an immortal master.

They're Sirius Black and Remus Lupin; they're the perfect embodiments of fire and ice.

They're messed and perfect, stark opposites of dark and light. But through it all, they always are and always will be **necessary** for each other's survival.

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed! As always, please don't forget to drop a review on your way out :3**


	9. my heart calls to you

**For the Big Sis/Lil'Sis Competition (dialogue: "are you going to tell her?"; character: regulus black; word: soul; ****phrase: piano keys; ** emotion: abandoned; colour: sea-green; item: sheet music); the Travel Go challenge (pairing: mother/son relationship; word: gem; random: art); Fanfiction, School of Imagination and Creativity (Chosen Topic: family troubles); the If You Dare Challenge (438. Serene and Calm); the 10 times 10 Challenge (Potion: Veritaserum) and the Fantastic Beasts Challenge (Streeler)

* * *

Sirius had always loved the Potters' home.

As much as Hogwarts would always be a home to him, it was, in its own way, almost as full of chaos as Grimmauld Place. But at the Potters' home, he was always able to slow down and relax in a way that he didn't find possible in any other place.

More than any of that, it was the one place where he and Remus could be completely free about their relationship in all places without worrying about the fact that news of it might reach his parents' ears through wither his little brother or one of the other Slytherins who would like nothing more than to see him be completely destroyed. It was the one place where he felt free of all expectations, the one place where he could just be himself.

"Sirius?"

Sirius turned his head away from the window he had been looking out of to face Remus, who had only arrived at the Potters' a few minutes ago.

"Hey Moony," he murmured.

"James said you've been worrying him," Remus said, sitting down next to Sirius on the bed.

"I have no idea what he's talking about," he said, turning his face away from Remus in order to make sure that the other boy wouldn't catch his lie.

Remus, however, refused to let him off so easily, and grabbed and held his face in his hands, forcing Sirius to look into the werewolf's gorgeous – and concern filled – sea green eyes. "I've only been here for a few moments, and I already know he's right," he said, sounding worried. "It's not like you to be so quiet, or look so depressed for that matter. What happened?"

Sirius looked away. He had never been someone who was capable of lying to Remus, and the sheer _worry_ in the other boy's eyes almost made him shatter into pieces.

"I hate hiding," he finally said after a few moments.

Remus hummed noncommittally, knowing Sirius enough to wait for him to continue.

"It's just," Sirius sighed, "I hate the fact that I have to hide who I am just because stupid Regulus is at Hogwarts with us. So what if he tells my dear mother everything? I shouldn't have to pretend to be someone apart from myself at Hogwarts! It's the place that's supposed to help me escape that hellhole of a house, not trap me in its own way!" he exclaimed, his voice becoming loud and indignant by the last word.

"Is this about us?" Remus asked, reaching out to hold Sirius' hand.

"Among other things," Sirius said, sounding more defeated than Remus had heard in a long time. "But mainly, it is about us. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm holding back on the person I am – the person I know I'm capable of becoming – just so that my parents don't have even more reason to hate and despise me, and I just can't bring myself to care anymore."

"What are you going to do, then?" Remus asked, moving closer towards his boyfriend. "If you plan on letting your mother know, are you going to tell her?"

Sirius sighed, looking troubled. "I don't know. There's part of me that thinks I'll just let the school find out, and Regulus can do my dirty work and tell her in one of his letters home. I mean, she's already all but abandoned the idea of having me as her son. I just don't see the point of giving her the importance that telling her myself will allow her to have. And yet…" Sirius trailed off.

"And yet she's still your mother," Remus finished, sounding completely understanding.

Sirius let out a humourless laugh. "Masochistic, isn't it? Even though I know she's a soulless, prejudiced monster who hates me with every fibre of her being, there's still this idiotic part of me that yearns for her approval, which wants to tell her myself. Maybe after she finally disowns me for bringing shame upon the family by not only being a Gryffindor but also being gay and making the scandalous decision to fall in love with someone who isn't from an old pureblood family, I'll finally see the light."

Remus looked searchingly at his boyfriend, before gently tugging at the hand he was holding. "Come with me," he said.

"Rem?" Sirius asked, sounding confused.

"You need to calm down right now," Remus said commandingly. "You can think about this later, but more than anything, you need to take you mind off of all this right now."

"Remus-"

"Come on," Remus said once more, tugging at Sirius until the other boy stood up and followed Remus. He led Sirius to the antique piano standing in one corner of the enormous room the boy had to himself whenever he stayed at the Potters'.

"I know you love to play," Remus murmured, sitting him down at the bench. "It will help you to relax. And who know, maybe it will even help reach a decision."

Sirius looked at his boyfriend, who had taken a seat next to him on the piano bench. For a moment, he debated protesting, but Remus had always known him better than he knew himself. He had absolutely no doubt that Remus was right.

He quietly ran his fingers over the piano keys, running his mind through the repertoire of pieces he had committed to memory before starting to play, not sparing a glance for the sheet music that had appeared on the music page holder as soon as he started playing the first few notes.

He didn't know how long he played. After the first two or three pieces, he had even stopped consciously picking _what_ to play, letting his unconscious take over and trusting that Remus would know to stop him if he got too lost in the music. But when he finally stopped, he knew that he had been right – Remus was, as usual, right. And he finally knew what he needed to do.

"I'm going to tell her," he announced, turning to patiently waiting Remus. "But not – not in person. A letter will do just as well. As much as I wish otherwise, she _is_ still my mother, which means that regardless of everything that has happened – and probably is still left to happen – between the two of us, she should hear it from me, but the last thing she deserves it to have me tell her all about it face to face. Not after everything she's put me through. And if she wants to disown me via Howler after that, well, Mr and Mrs Potter said that I could camp out here for as long as I wanted to, so that's alright with me." He hesitated, looking at Remus for approval. "Is- Is that plan okay?" he asked tentatively.

"Of course it is," Remus said softly, reaching out to gently stroke his thumb over Sirius' face. It had always amazed him, how his family could hate the gem this boy was. That, combined with the self-doubt they had caused Sirius to feel, had made him loathe the Blacks with a passion. Sirius was like a living piece of art, the most precious creature Remus had ever known, and he hated the constant reminders that Sirius hadn't always been cherished the way he should have been. He didn't know why Sirius had chosen him of the long line of people who would have been more than thrilled to call him their own, but the only important thing now was that he had, and Remus would make sure that he would make sure to never, _ever_ make the mistakes the other boy's parents had made at each and every step of the heart cal

"_Everything_ you do is okay. I love you," he whispered, leaning forward slightly to capture Sirius' lips in a soft kiss.

To his eternal surprise and gratification, at his words, Sirius finally smiled genuinely, the look of his face like the appearance of the sun after a terrible storm. "I love you too," Sirius murmured once the two boys had to break apart for air, before pulling Remus into another deep kiss. "Forever."

* * *

**I hope you guys liked it! As always, please don't forget to drop a review on your way out :)**


	10. Insignificant

**For the Big Sis/Lil'Sis Competition (word: insignificant; phrase: the last time; song: _'Stay,' Rihanna_, specifically the lines _"Something in the way you move / Makes me feel like I can't live without you"_; colour: colourless; genre: romance); the If You Dare Challenge (853. Rock Star); the Song Fic Bootcamp (song: 'Stay,' Rihanna; 20. school); Camp Potter (Fireworks Show - write a SiriusRemus fic) and the Fantastic Beasts Challenge (Sea Serpent)**

**This is a highschool!AU, just so you know what you're getting into :)**

* * *

In the larger scheme of things, you're insignificant.

It's the first thing you learn in high school. No matter what the adults say, it doesn't pay to be smart.

People crowd around them, football stars who will rise up to be great. You're shunted to the side, the odd boy who just happens to be best friends with two of the most popular people in the school.

* * *

You meet James, Sirius and Peter on the first day of classes. The four of you are in the same History class, and you come away from that with two lessons: you'll never be able to stay awake in that class and you suddenly have friends.

You call yourselves the Marauders.

You've always been the loner, the one shunted to the side. Having friends isn't exactly a concept you're familiar with, but the three of them, they don't let you retreat into your shell.

Before the year is out, you're no longer the mousy boy who wouldn't have been heard even in a completely quiet room. You've blossomed and grown, the three of them giving you confidence you've never had before.

* * *

The second year you know each other, the boys find out the secret you've been hiding.

Unusually high levels of adrenaline, they'd said at your last high school. But the fact remains unchanged: when you're angered, you're capable of killing a man with your bare hands.

To your surprise, they don't care. In fact, Sirius' only question to you is if you can control when it happens to you.

He's rather disappointed to find out you can't. Apparently, it would have been an enormous advantage for a football player, regardless of the fact that you have no intention of becoming one.

Of course, that doesn't stop Sirius and James from signing up. By the end of the year, they're the star players in the team, known throughout the school.

* * *

It's your third year that you start to realise that you're not exactly interested in women. James has gone and fallen completely in love with Lily Evans, and he's always trying to set you up on a date with one of her girlfriends so that you can dig for information about the redhead.

But even though Lily's friends are some of the most beautiful in the school, they just don't interest you.

Sirius though – it doesn't take you long to figure out that the feelings you hold for Sirius Black aren't exactly platonic anymore.

It scares you. It scares the hell out of you.

You may be able to kill a full grown man, but you still aren't anywhere near ready to confront your feelings.

So you do what you always do with things that frighten you: you pretend it doesn't exist, and hope like hell it goes away.

* * *

It's in your last year of high school that you finally decide to tell Sirius about your feelings. You'd never be able to forgive yourself if he finds someone to love without knowing about how you feel.

You'd never be able to live with the what ifs.

But just because you've made the decision doesn't make it easy. Somewhere over the past four years, Sirius has become more important to you than James and Peter combined. You have no desire to lose his friendship over feelings you can't control. Without Sirius, your life is colourless, and you're nothing but the quiet, mousy boy you used to be when you started high school.

It takes you god-only knows how many attempts to finally tell him. The last time you tried to tell someone how you felt about them was before you started school here, at Hogwarts High. The last time, you'd been laughed at.

You know that if Sirius laughs at you, your heart will never be able to repair itself.

If you're honest with yourself, you don't expect Sirius to return your feelings. First of all, he's probably not even gay.

And even if he is – well, he's one of the two most popular boys in the school, and you're nothing but the quiet, studious boy who, by some freak of nature, happens to his best friend. Sirius Black could have anyone in the school, male or female, and you're not someone a person like that chooses.

But, of course, you're still going to tell him.

* * *

You wonder how to tell him.

You can't exactly walk up to him and say, "I'm in love with you." You run over possible scenarios over and over in your mind until you're ready to go insane.

In the end, you let Sirius bring it up.

James is the only one of your little quartet who has a normal home life, and over time, his home has become a home for the rest of the Marauders.

The two of you are in Sirius' room, buried in research for your history project.

At least, you are. Sirius is doing a not very good job of pretending to be.

As he always does when the two of you are in a room together, Sirius raises the subject. "So, have you found a girl for yourself yet?" he asks.

If you were someone else, you might have been able to fool yourself that it was jealousy that you heard every time Sirius uttered those words. But you're Remus Lupin, and you know better than to think that.

So instead, you look at him. You know that he's prepared for your usual answer, but this time, there's something else that's waiting for him to hear.

"I don't like girls, Sirius," you say quietly. "I'm in love with you."

The astonishment on Sirius' face would have been comical if it wasn't for the fact that the rest of your life depended on his next words. In that situation, you really cannot see the humour in anything.

You think you know how he's going to react to your declaration. You're certain that you're going to be rejected – the only thing you don't know is how.

But it seems it's not only Sirius' day to be shocked speechless.

Instead of Sirius telling you that he doesn't feel the same way, he reaches out and grabs your hand, and just _smiles_.

It's the most beatific smile you've ever seen on his face.

He doesn't need to say anything. You understand.

* * *

You aren't anything special. No, you're just a quiet, studious boy who just happened to befriend the most popular people in the school.

At least, that's who you were.

But tomorrow, you're going to walk down a hallway lined with lockers, Sirius Black's hand in yours. You're going to have his kisses, caresses, whispers of love.

You're going to have the thing you never even dreamed of having – Sirius' love.

You used to be insignificant. And to the world as a whole, you still are.

But you're everything to Sirius, and at the end, that's all that really matters.

* * *

**I hope you guys like this! As always, please don't forget to drop a review on your way out :)**


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